Haemorrhoids? - A message to James.

Pffft! James has the cheek to ask if I read his emails!! He's asked me some questions that I have already answered the cheeky swine! I have answered them again and told him all about my company's new product!!


Good evening James.

I am glad we cleared that up lol! I completely understand your mistake so please don't worry about it.

Now to your questions. Of course I read your emails you silly boy!

Where do I live?  Now I could ask you if you read my emails because I have already told you where I live!!

Do I have a house of my own? Yes I do and as I already told you, I live alone.

You ask if I have any kids? Again, I have already answered that question - no I don't sadly.

Do I really need a man? Yes James, I really do! I have many unfullfilled needs that only a man can fullfill

Am I serious about you?  Yes James I am.  Since my husband died, I have been loking for a nice man to make my life complete again.

When was I born? I am 43 and my date of birth is 18 November 1968

I am pretty sure that is all your questions answered.

The meeting went very well thank you. I am joint partner in a company that makes pharmaceutical creams for chemists. I am the development manager. The product we were discussing today is a new one that is just about to hit the market. It's a dual treatment for haemorrhoids that not only shrinks the piles but freezes them too, making them pain free. It's called Arseicles! Catchy name don't you think? Arseicles is set to take the rectal treatment market by storm. Soon, Arseicles will be in every chemist and it will be all down to me! Have you ever had haemorrhoids James? If it's something that you suffer from, I would be more than happy to send you a free sample to try.

Now it's bed time for me my dear one. Sleep well James and hear from you soon.

Hugs

Gaye xxxxxxx

He's not a tranny, it was an error from his brain. - A message from James.

I can't tell you how disappointed I am that James isn't a transvestite. He suggests that I find myself a Scottish man if that is what I want! Anyway, it appears his brain had an error that made him sign his last email Jenny. That's ok then!



How re you doing my Dearest Gaye,Thanks for the mail,I want you to know that what happened was my thought about my family,I am James Jefferey Junior,Jenny was the name of my daughter,I don't know what happened,But I just want to appologise to you,I'm a very honest man and a one woman man,So I did like you to know what happened was an error directly from my brain,I hope you understand me and don't think about it much Okay?


 I am not that kind of man that dresses in a female outfit,I hope this doesn't turn you off,,,If you did like that I think you could get the best of that from a Scottish man,I'm an American and not even an English man,I just hope this doeasn't stop your likes for me?How is your meeting going?Do you read my mails?I have questions for you and you never answer them?Please read my mails well and answer my questions this way we could get to know each other well?When re you gonna get on the msn I'm still waiting and hoping to hear from you,Until then take care of yourself and have a wonderful day...

Regards

James

Are you a transvestite? - A message to James.

So James/Jenny, are you a transvestite? I jolly well hope so!!



Hello James/Jenny

I have a question to ask you. For some reason, you signed your last email to me, 'Regards Jenny.' Why did you do this?

I shall be direct and to the point here James. Are you a transvestte or a cross dresser? Please be honest with me about this as honesty in a relationship is of the utmost importance.

James/Jenny, I have a confession for you. I love men who dress in womens clothing! To me, transvestites and cross dressers are wonderful human beings with the strength of spirit and character to be who they really want to be. So, if you are indeed a transvestite or a cross dresser, I will be more than happy to embrace that side of you. In fact, I  will positively encourage it!  We could have the very best relationship ever. You could be my boyfriend and my best girlfriend all in one wonderful package (but don't tell Emily or she will get jealous!)

Imagine the shopping trips we could have, both of us trying on dresses and matching cardigans, pleated skirts and polo necks. Oh James/Jenny, I am so excited about this!! I can help do your hair and apply your make up. It would be simply wonderful. We could be 'ladies what lunch', out on the town in Knightsbridge, flirting with the business men and having a good giggle. Oh James/Jenny I think I may just have fallen a little bit in love with you!

Please reply to me as soon as you can my darling.

All my love

Gaye xxxxxx

He loves me but appears to have had a sex change! - A message from James?

Well, James has  replied but now seems to have morphed into Jenny so far as his email is concerned! He has seen the photos I sent and thinks I have a lovely smile!! I asked him about his job and he has told me that he is staying at the Egerton House Hotel in Knightsbridge. He has been there since November last year and will finish at the end of next month. Now with single rooms coming in between £310 and £560 per night, that is an expensive stay. I think I shall be asking him for some money!!


How re you doing my Dearest Gaye,Thanks for the mail and the pictures,darling I see no reason why you should be scared of showing a man like me your picture,I'm not a man of the outward Looks of a woman,I want a woman with a good heart,Very romantic and know how to take care of her man,You re such a nice woman and I love the smiles I always see on your face,that alone made me happy and I know that you will certainly make a good woman that any man would love to be with...Thanks for the pictures once again....I do believe in you and me because I have this feeling that we will make it together If we learn to trust each other and work things,I would like us to chat at all times,talk on the phone and have each other in our thoughts everyday...You asked about my Job..Let me tell you

  I'm presently working in England London on a Contract worth about 3.1million pounds here in England,My job is all about refining Crude Oil into finish goods like Diesel,kerosine,Fuel and all of that,So an Malaysia is paying (NNPC) to help them refine about 50thousand barrels of Crude so this is the Job that I have been working on since November Last year,It would be sad to tell you that since then I have left home which you know is Miami Florida,I have a house there of my own...I hope you know that it took me 4years to get back on my feet again after the loss of my Wife and daughter,I want to tell you that since then I didn't want to look for any job or have anything to do with any woman,Now darling its good to know that I have found a good woman and also have a Job that I have been working on,I might round off the Job this month Ending or April ...But as time goes on you will get to know everything on what is going on with me,I Live in Knights-bridge here in central London,Egerton house hotel from here I go to work everyday and take care of myself,I asked you a question..Do you have a house of your own?Where exactly do you Live?Do you really need a man?are you serious with me?Please answer my questions as I will be hoping to read from you soonest...Until then do take care of yourself for me and have a good day...

Regards

Jenny

Me revealed! - A message to James!

I have sent James some photos of me. I doubt he will have heard of, or seen Mrs Brown's boys so I should be ok! Do you think he will still not care for a womans facial looks?!!



Dearest James.

Thank you so much for your lovely message. It was so heartening to read that you care not for the facial looks of a woman. It's a good job really! I have attached some photos of myself, including one of my friends in the Flange Beaver Society. The people in the Beaver Society photo are (L-R) - Mr Womble-Dung, Mr Moore, Miss Scott (my best friend), Me (in the orange cardigan), Miss Mitchell and Mr Pierce. It was taken in my kitchen during one of my now legendary 'crumpets and strumpets' parties! The one of me and the other lady is myself and my best friend from the society, Miss Scott. She is a lovey woman if a bit of a one for the men! I'm telling you, behind that hair net beats the heart of a Goddess!

Talking of hearts, I do indeed have a good one. It is a loyal and loving heart and who knows James, one day it may be yours!

You ask me if I have any children. Sadly not. This is something I intend to discuss with you in the near future but as it is quite a painful and personal matter, I feel I need to know you a bit better first. Give me time James and you will know all you need to know about me.

So James, please tell me more about your job. I am very interested in finding out more about it and what it is that you do.

As for Yahoo messenger, I don't use it as it installs awful things on your computer that cause it to crash, Maybe I could install MSN messenger if you would like to chat on there sometime?

For now James it is late and I am tired. I have a business meeting in the morning to discuss a new product we are bringing out so need to be awake and on time!

Sleep well my dearest and hope to  hear from you soon if my photos haven't put you off.

Fond wishes

Gaye xxxxxxxxx

Where on this planet? A message from James.

I am so glad that James doesn't care about facial looks! Wait till he sees me!!


How re you doing Gaye,I don't care about the facial looks of a woman,all i can about is a woman with a good heart,So let me assure you do not be scared and please send me your pictures,Where on this planet do you live?I didn't mean I fell for you so fast,Just tell you what a relationship would be to me,I want to have a woman in my Life,I know you will make a good woman as I'm getting to like everything about you,Do you have a Kid?You need to open a yahoo messenger so that we can talk from time to time...Please send me the pictures,I will always be there for you no matter what...Until then take care of yourself and don't work too hard...

Regards

James

Miss Mitchells stuffed beaver! - A message to James.

James you naughty, naughty boy! This is where his words of love came from! (thanks to Doreen for the link!) And to think, I thought he really felt that way!! He wants a picture of me. I have warned him I am not much to look at and will send a picture with the next email.

Good morning James!

Easy tiger! I think you need to slow down a bit here please. I was pretty bowled over by your last message. It came as quite a shock to me to read that you have been having such thoughts and feelings for me already. I am a woman of the world james but feel we need to get to know each other a bit better before we get so carried away.

You have asked me to send you some photos of me. I have been hesitant so far as I am very insecure about my looks. I don't feel that I am an attractive woman James and struggle with my self image. People often think I am much older than I actually am and I am worried that once you see my picture that you won't be interested in me any more. Please James, promise me one thing, if you find me hideously unnatractive you must tell me. I need you to be honest with me about it. I fully understand if you no longer wish to persue a relationship with me once you have seen me. I know a lot of people will say that you don't look at the fireplace when you are poking the fire but I do want you to fancy me. I shall send pictures with my next message once I know that you will be honest with me about it.

Anyway James, how is work going? Are you enjoying your time in London? Have you seen the Queen yet? My friend Wendy has met the Queen! She gave her some badge or medal or something like that, supposedly for doing goood things in the community. I did laugh at that as the Wendy I know much prefers getting drunk, swearing at taxi drivers and demolishing works of art! Takes all sorts I suppose!

The Flange Beaver Society meeting the other night went reasonably well. I managed to keep order but only just. Some of those beaver lovers can be quite hot headed at times and I have to have a strict demeanour to deal with them. We had a guest speaker in to give us a demonstration about how best to stuff a beaver (as deceased one of course). Mrs Tongue wasted no time in getting to grips with Miss Mitchells limp beaver, opening it up and making sure there was nothing in there already. She quickly inserted her hand, right up to her wrist, wiggled her fingers a bit then pulled it back out. She told us that it was essential to make sure everything was in order before getting down to the stuffing. She then grabbed a handfull of the necessary filling and rammed it right up inside Miss Mitchells beaver until it was full and could take no more. Well, it was a sight to behold. I don't think Miss Mitchells beaver had ever looked so magnificent! She then sewed it back up and Mr Moore mounted it. Now Mr Moore is not used to mounting beavers but he did a pretty good job and it now takes pride of place in the societies club room.

Well James, I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

With fond wishes

Gaye xxxxxxxxx