Me revealed! - A message to James!

I have sent James some photos of me. I doubt he will have heard of, or seen Mrs Brown's boys so I should be ok! Do you think he will still not care for a womans facial looks?!!



Dearest James.

Thank you so much for your lovely message. It was so heartening to read that you care not for the facial looks of a woman. It's a good job really! I have attached some photos of myself, including one of my friends in the Flange Beaver Society. The people in the Beaver Society photo are (L-R) - Mr Womble-Dung, Mr Moore, Miss Scott (my best friend), Me (in the orange cardigan), Miss Mitchell and Mr Pierce. It was taken in my kitchen during one of my now legendary 'crumpets and strumpets' parties! The one of me and the other lady is myself and my best friend from the society, Miss Scott. She is a lovey woman if a bit of a one for the men! I'm telling you, behind that hair net beats the heart of a Goddess!

Talking of hearts, I do indeed have a good one. It is a loyal and loving heart and who knows James, one day it may be yours!

You ask me if I have any children. Sadly not. This is something I intend to discuss with you in the near future but as it is quite a painful and personal matter, I feel I need to know you a bit better first. Give me time James and you will know all you need to know about me.

So James, please tell me more about your job. I am very interested in finding out more about it and what it is that you do.

As for Yahoo messenger, I don't use it as it installs awful things on your computer that cause it to crash, Maybe I could install MSN messenger if you would like to chat on there sometime?

For now James it is late and I am tired. I have a business meeting in the morning to discuss a new product we are bringing out so need to be awake and on time!

Sleep well my dearest and hope to  hear from you soon if my photos haven't put you off.

Fond wishes

Gaye xxxxxxxxx

Where on this planet? A message from James.

I am so glad that James doesn't care about facial looks! Wait till he sees me!!


How re you doing Gaye,I don't care about the facial looks of a woman,all i can about is a woman with a good heart,So let me assure you do not be scared and please send me your pictures,Where on this planet do you live?I didn't mean I fell for you so fast,Just tell you what a relationship would be to me,I want to have a woman in my Life,I know you will make a good woman as I'm getting to like everything about you,Do you have a Kid?You need to open a yahoo messenger so that we can talk from time to time...Please send me the pictures,I will always be there for you no matter what...Until then take care of yourself and don't work too hard...

Regards

James

Miss Mitchells stuffed beaver! - A message to James.

James you naughty, naughty boy! This is where his words of love came from! (thanks to Doreen for the link!) And to think, I thought he really felt that way!! He wants a picture of me. I have warned him I am not much to look at and will send a picture with the next email.

Good morning James!

Easy tiger! I think you need to slow down a bit here please. I was pretty bowled over by your last message. It came as quite a shock to me to read that you have been having such thoughts and feelings for me already. I am a woman of the world james but feel we need to get to know each other a bit better before we get so carried away.

You have asked me to send you some photos of me. I have been hesitant so far as I am very insecure about my looks. I don't feel that I am an attractive woman James and struggle with my self image. People often think I am much older than I actually am and I am worried that once you see my picture that you won't be interested in me any more. Please James, promise me one thing, if you find me hideously unnatractive you must tell me. I need you to be honest with me about it. I fully understand if you no longer wish to persue a relationship with me once you have seen me. I know a lot of people will say that you don't look at the fireplace when you are poking the fire but I do want you to fancy me. I shall send pictures with my next message once I know that you will be honest with me about it.

Anyway James, how is work going? Are you enjoying your time in London? Have you seen the Queen yet? My friend Wendy has met the Queen! She gave her some badge or medal or something like that, supposedly for doing goood things in the community. I did laugh at that as the Wendy I know much prefers getting drunk, swearing at taxi drivers and demolishing works of art! Takes all sorts I suppose!

The Flange Beaver Society meeting the other night went reasonably well. I managed to keep order but only just. Some of those beaver lovers can be quite hot headed at times and I have to have a strict demeanour to deal with them. We had a guest speaker in to give us a demonstration about how best to stuff a beaver (as deceased one of course). Mrs Tongue wasted no time in getting to grips with Miss Mitchells limp beaver, opening it up and making sure there was nothing in there already. She quickly inserted her hand, right up to her wrist, wiggled her fingers a bit then pulled it back out. She told us that it was essential to make sure everything was in order before getting down to the stuffing. She then grabbed a handfull of the necessary filling and rammed it right up inside Miss Mitchells beaver until it was full and could take no more. Well, it was a sight to behold. I don't think Miss Mitchells beaver had ever looked so magnificent! She then sewed it back up and Mr Moore mounted it. Now Mr Moore is not used to mounting beavers but he did a pretty good job and it now takes pride of place in the societies club room.

Well James, I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

With fond wishes

Gaye xxxxxxxxx

Oh my word!! A saucy message fromJames!

So I tell James all about my past lives and he replies with smut!! Well cut and paste pseudo romantic bollocks to be precise!


How re you doing Gaye,Thanks for the mail and I do appreciate everything you told me about yourself,Well according to what they told me happened,they drove into a Truck and they both died,I learn to forget about the past,Yes I do like rats and I will like to have one some day,Do you have pictures of yourself?Please I will like you to send me some of yourself,

I keep thinking about the future, about life, and what I want out of it. I keep thinking about Life and what a relationship means to me. I keep thinking about these things and I realize they go hand in hand. This relationship is my future; it's what I want out of life. I want to grow old with you. I want to experience this crazy love forever and ever, and I really think I'm going to get to. I want us to walk through new houses picking the one that would be just right for us. I want to see you walk around our house in a big t-shirt with your hair down and catch me staring at how gorgeous you are. I want you to pull the covers off me at night and then I have to get even closer, if it's possible, to you to keep warm. I want to see you laugh like crazy at me when I do stupid stuff. I want to rub lotion all over your body because you laid out in the sun too long. . I want to see you and me chasing ourselves round the house,both of us laughing our heads off and having fun. I want to hold you when you cry and smile with you when you smile. I want to fall asleep every night with you in my arms. I want you to fall asleep on my chest listening to the beat of my heart and know it beats for you I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I want to see your bad morning hair; I think it will be so cute. I want to sit on the beach with you and watch the sun set, and I want all the people who pass us to envy the love that we obviously have for each other.
 
I want to see you walk down that isle and I want to take your hand for the rest of my life. I want to spend all night, and maybe the next day, making love to you with an undying passion (sorry to be so blunt). I want to be 60 years old and still make out with you like a little schoolboy. I want to cook a meal with you and us totally ruin it and end up doing take out. I want to sit there talking to you for hours about nothing at all but in the same time everything or maybe we won't talk at all and just grin at each other realizing how lucky we are. I want you to get mad at me for doing something stupid, and I want you to burst out laughing when you try to yell at me. I want to lay with you in front of a fireplace and keep the heat going long after the fire goes out. I want to take trips with you to places we've never been and experience them together. I want us to go skinny-dipping in a hotel pool and get caught and streak back to our hotel room waking everyone up because we're laughing so hard. I want us to go and pick out the hot tub we want with the biggest grins on our faces the whole time. I want the sales rep to get embarrassed when we sit in them and make sure we have enough room to do the things we want to do. I want our friends to come over and get totally jealous because they don't share a love like we do. I want to be walking into a store with you and trip and fall on my face and turn around to see you rolling on the ground laughing at me.

 I want us to run outside in the rain and act like total kids getting completely soaked, and when we come back in stripping down to nothing as we stumble into the bedroom, or the kitchen counter, or the balcony, or the dining room table, or an office desk, or the shower, which ever one we feel like at the time making Love and Cuddling.
I want it to take your breath away every time I say, "I love you" because you know it's coming from the heart. I want us to be sitting together at all times. I want us to sit down with a box of strawberries, a bottle of chocolate syrup, and a thing of mint chocolate ice cream; well, I'll let your imagination finish that one. I want to love you and be with you for at least forever if not a little longer. I couldn't really express in words what I'm feeling right now so I decided to share with you SOME of the images and thoughts that have been running through my head.
 
Regards
 
James Jefferey

Past lives - A message to James.

So, James wants to know about my past life, well he can know about them all!!

Hello again James

It was lovely to hear from you again. I am glad I didn't upset or distress with with the message that was coming through from the young girl and her mother. I am so sorry to hear they all lost their lives in a car crash. That must have been  truely devastating for you. Can I ask what happened?

Now to answer your questions James. Yes, I live alone except for my 5 pet rats, Mort, Doreen, Twanky, Barbara and Lainy. Do you like rats James? I see them almost as my children, I love them so much. As I said before, I too am widowed. This is something I find pretty difficult to talk about but I will tell you about it given time. I have no man in my life James, I am all alone. I do however have lots of amazing friends who keep me company and look out for me.

You asked about my past life. It's funny that you should ask that as recently I have undergone a series of sessions of regression therapy. Do you ever feel like you have lived on this earth before James? I have always had the feeling that I have lived before including having strange dreams and flashbacks to events I was unsure about but seemed familiar. A few weeks ago I decided to do something about this and sought the help of an expert in the field, Dame Kerry Dill - Doe.  Dame Dill - Doe explained the process which involved putting me into a lightly hypnotic state and regressing me backwards through my existence.

Well James. so many hidden memories came flooding back. The first one was of me in a large and luxurious house where I was kept hidden away in just 2 rooms. I was never allowed out, kept hidden away from visitors and only allowed to be in contact with the staff of the house assigned to look after me. This is because I was the illegitimate child of Kind William IV and one of her servants, a young girl called Emily. I was regressed further and memories came back of being a mother of 6 children who all died of the plague in 1665. The emotion I felt as I remembered not being able to bury my children as their bodies had to be burnt becasue of the plague was harrowing. No mother should ever have to experience that. The final regression saw me as a country Gentleman of some wealth in the year 1426.  Sadly I died of the 'pox' from having sex with too many loose women. It was so interesting being able to make sense of these dreams and memories. So James, that is my past life in a nutshell! Have you ever been regressed at all? I would recommend it to anyone!


Right, I must go as tonight is the AGM of the Flange Beaver Society and I have to be there to take notes and make sure all is done in accordance with the rules. Old Mr Womble-Dung and Mrs Doyle often come to blows about the best way to groom a beaver so I have to step in and keep order lol!

Have a pleasant evening James and chat soon!

Gaye xxxxx

The best thing to happen to him sometime ~ A message from James.

James has replied. The dead people are not his wife and daughter as they were killed in a car crash along with his driver. The poor things. He wants me to tell him about my past life. I could (and will) have fun with that!!


Thanks for the e mail dearest Gaye,I appreciate every bit of your time you take to write me an e mail,Well regarding your question,I really don't know If I'm the person you re talking about,I lost my wife and daughter to a car accident 4years ago,They died the same time including my Driver that took them out,This was a very tough part of my Life and I think its all gone now,,,,May their soul rest in Peace,

 

 How is everything going with you?It seems you re busy with work that why you write me once in a while,Do you live alone?I would like to chat with you on the messenger don't know If you have time for that,Please kindly send me some pictures of you and tell me all about yourself including your past life and relationship?What month were you born and date?I would like to hear from you all the time...take care of yourself and for me I have this feeling that getting to know you would be the best thing that will happen to me sometime...Until then have a good Afternoon...

 

Regards

 

James

Welcome to beaver country! - A message to James.

As James is such a lovely, decent, honest man, I thought I would tell him a little about myself and where I live. I also have a message for him, potentially from his dead wife and daughter. I wonder what he will make of that and of my spirit guide with the unusual name?


Good afternoon James.

How lovely to hear from you and so quickly as well! Thank you so much for the pictures as well. My word,  you are an incredibly handsome man James if you don't mind me saying. Your pictures made me come over all unnecessary.

Having read you email several times, you sound like a really lovely and genuine man. You appear to be well balanced, with a good sense of humour and decent morals which is a refreshing change as so many people these days lead ungodly, questionable lives. To find someone who is honest and honourable is simply wonderful!

I completely agree that two people have to first become friends before they can become lovers. Far too many people are too hasty to jump into bed with one another, making overblown declarations of undying love before they have even got to know each other properly. I much prefer to take my time and get to know someone properly. I am glad that is something we both agree on James.

So, you say you are currently working in England. That is brilliant! Where abouts are you based? I live in the north of England in a small village called Cumming-on-Flange. It's a beautiful, picturesque place on the  edge of the river Flange and has one of the largest wild beaver populations in the whole of the country. People come from all over to get a glimpse of our beavers, especially in the mating season where their rituals are a sight to behold. I am the current secretary of the Flange Beaver Society, a position I take very seriously. I shall tell you more about that at another time James.

I was saddened to read about the loss of your wife and daughter James. This must have been a terrible and heartbreaking time for you. I don't mean to be insensitive but did they both die together in unusual circumstances? The reason I ask is this. I am a psychic medium and I have a spirit guide. She is a 16th Centuary Japanese girl called Eatshi Tandie. She herself was murdered by a dishonerable gentleman who proclaimed to love her yet killed her in cold blood. Eatshi helps me to channel the spirits of those who are passed and over the last couple of days I have had strong visions of a Lady and young girl. The lady is tall and around 35 years old. The girl is blonde, around 6 years old and very very frightened. The girl keeps telling me to look after her daddy and not to worry as the bad man with the camel and the violin can't hurt them any more. Does this mean anything to you James? My very soul is telling me that these are your lost loved ones. I do not wish to cause you any undue distress but I just had to tell you as the girl was most insistent. I do apologise if this upsets you but when they spirits speak, we must all listen.

Anyway James, I really must go now as I have a lot of things to be getting on with.

I really hope that I will hear from you again soon and hope this message finds you well and happy.

Fond wishes

Gaye xxxx

He's not as powerful as a locomotive but he can cook! - A message from James.

Well here we go, the first email from James. It's the usual formulaic stuff; dual nationality, widowed (but this time he lost his child as well), lives abroad but is currently working in London blah blah blah! The email is full of the usual flowery, romantic rubbish designed to draw a woman in, revealing his sensitive side. Bless! Let's see how long I can string this one along for!








How re you doing my friend,I would like to you get to know me a little and I hope you will also be able to tell me about yourself in this way too...Please kindly send me some picture of you
Now, more about me...My name is James Jefferey,I live in Miami Florida,Originally German and British American,6feet tall,brown hairs and Blue eyes,I have a house of my own in Miami,I was the only child of my parents and grew up with a single parent,Just me and my mom,schooled in the University of Kansas in Lawrence where I studied Petrol Chemical Engineering,I'm straight forward, honest to a fault, and very easy to get along with. I'm funny, strong when I need to be, but soft hearted most of the time. I have a great sense of humor, and a very definite romantic side. love to kiss and hold hands, but I especially like to share...big things, little things, everything...most things are better shared.
I'm emotionally balanced and stable, I have a lot to teach...but a lot to learn...I believe that the day we stop learning is the day we die. I have a lot to give emotionally...but yearn to find someone that can give as much in return.
I may not be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, I'm not faster than a speeding bullet, and I'm not as powerful as a locomotive...but I can cook, and I'm pretty darn handy at fixing things.I'm looking for someone who realizes that the very essence of a good relationship starts with being "in like" before you can ever be "in love". If two people can't be friends, how can they develop into something more?I'm a gentle hearted man and I'm looking for someone who realizes that being a gentle hearted man and being chivalrous are not synonymous with being a chauvinist. Well its nice that you are interested in getting to know more about me and i am glad too that its time for me to sit and write to you everyday and see what future has for us,I have been scared to date for the past 4 years because of the death of my wife and daughter, i am also happy that i meet someone i think we can be good match with time because we need to take our time and get to know each other better,I am kind of man that like a woman that date only one man if you can do that with me then we will have more time to concentrate on each other,I am a Petrol chemical Engineer and the nature of my work gets me around the world my work base on Contract and Project so i do travel a lot ,Right now i am not in the state i am working on a contract in ENGLAND and i will be coming back to the state as as soon as I round off the Job,I will like to ask you some question and i will be glad if you can give me honest answer,I am new to this online dating stuff and i have heard that many women and men play games please i want to tell you that i am tired of getting hurt and i will be glad if you can be  honest answer,If you have someone else you are dating presently kindly tell.I am waiting for your reply.
Regards

James

Introducing Gaye Mann! A message to James.

Introducing my new persona,  Gaye Mann, a lonely, childless widow and leading psychic medium.



Hi James

Thank you for the message on the dating site. It was good to hear from you.

My name is Gaye and I am 43. I too am widowed and have no children so sometimes I can get a bit lonely. I manage to keep myself busy though and have lots of great friends too.

I like reading, listening to music and attending my local Spiritualist Church where I am one of their leading psychic mediums. I do hope you are a believer too as this is something very important in my life. Just because our loved ones have passed over, does not mean they have left us for good. It gives me great comfort to know they are still there.

Well James, would you care to tell me a little more about yourself please? It would be lovely to get to know you a bit better and see how things go from there.

I look forward to hearing from you soon

Fond wishes

Gaye xx

The first message from James.

This is the initial message I received from 'James' on the dating site. As usual, the spelling and grammar are appalling which are a sure fire give away.

How re you doing?I do like your profile,You re beautiful and I see alot of Love and honour in you,I will love to get to know,I'm a God fearing man,young at heart,Very romantic and would love to find a woman in my Life,I don't cheat and would not embrace it from any woman,Please I will like to have a chat,,You can send me an e mail on Jamesjefferey90@********** I will be hoping to hear from you,take care and Bye for now.

Introducing James Jefferey

This is James Jefferey.  His dating site profile reads as follows:

Location: Central, London
Status: Widowed
Looking for: A serious relationship Ethnic Origin: Caucasian/White Eyes: Blue Hair: Short, Brown (light) Height: 6'0'' or above (more than 183cm) Build: Athletic Highest Education: Masters Employment Status: Employed Profession: Labour / Construction Interests: Dancing, Cooking, Animals Religion: Catholic Practising: Yes Sexuality: Straight Number of children: 0 Smoker: No jefferey90 describes himself as: My name is james,very open minded straight forward and out going man gentle at heart an hopeless romantic man that would love to do the cooking from time to time. jefferey90 describes his ideal partner as: I want a woman that is responsible and ready to be with a man. He sounds a real catch. How could I possibly resist?